Frustated

I am so frustrated at work right now. It seems like I can't please people outside my department no matter how hard I try, and instead, they complain to my boss that my department is inadequate when the truth is that we've been severely understaffed for the past five years or so. Really, I think it's only a few key people complaining, and you know what they say about how one bad comment is heard much more loudly than many positive ones.

I can't help but wonder if my boss thinks I'm incompetent. I know I haven't had the managerial training that other managers at my work have had, but it doesn't mean I can't learn. In a meeting I had with my manager today, I have gotten comments about how I'm half his age (no way is he in his mid-60s), that I was most likely blinded by the prestige and honor of being a manager when I took the job as manager and didn't realize what I was getting in to, and that he was disappointed that he had to ask me for a strategic plan for my department and explain to me what he expected. Previously, he also made a comment when talking about how Mara's in daycare about how he's lucky because his wife didn't need to work and could stay home with the kids. All of this makes me question his confidence in me as a manager.

It doesn't help that they've brought in consultants and are evaluating my department anyway and looking to see if reorganizing it would help us get things done in a more timely manner since we're so far behind in our workload. I'm not really concerned about my job because we already have more work than we can handle, but things will be changing over the next few months. I'm not sure what the consultants will be suggesting, but I do wonder if I'm going to go back to just being a technical writer. In some ways, I wouldn't mind it since then I wouldn't have to deal with issues like this. At least I have my staff on my side.

With all of this going on, it makes me a little thankful that I'm not due in June like I was supposed to be with my last pregnancy. God really does work in mysterious ways. I just ask that you all keep my work in your prayers right now. We're not really too concerned about our jobs, but everything is in limbo and it's hard to get things done while wondering what's going to happen.