TTC Sucks

TTC = Trying To Conceive

For those of you who don't know (and not many do), we've been trying to conceive our second child since our trip to San Antonio back in October, and unfortunately it hasn't worked so far.

I am such a planner. I like to know exactly when things will happen, so this is really throwing me for a loop. When we decided we were ready to start having children, I knew I wanted to have a baby in March so I would be pregnant during the winter for the most part. I got pregnant the very first time we tried, and Mara was born almost 9 months later on March 24.

I know people have said that it's not as easy to conceive the second time, but I didn't want to believe them. I had a plan, and it was going to work. I wanted to have our next child in July because that would evenly spread out our birthdays and make them all two months apart (March, May, July, September). Because of my cycle, we even had two chances of having a baby in July.

However, God had other plans.

So, here were are, getting ready to start our fifth cycle of trying to conceive with no baby in sight yet. Maybe this will be our time, maybe it won't. Both of us know that we will have our second child when we're ready, and apparently God doesn't think the timing is right yet. We just have to keep trusting in Him, and it will happen when it's supposed to. It's hard, though. Especially when I keep finding out people are getting pregnant all around me, including three of my friends who are all due at various times in 2008. This last time was even more of a disappointment than the others. Mostly because I should have been testing this weekend, and then I could go ahead and tell my family on what would have been my mom's 70th birthday - kind of bring a bright spot to a more somber occasion.

But there's nothing we can do to interfere with God's plans, so we'll just be ready and waiting for when God decides to bless us with a second child. In the meantime, we'll definitely keep trying. :)